What was in Biden's classified documents?
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Joe and I going to church, tfore, must have been a moving spectacle for compassionate minds. Yet, what I suffered outside was nothing to what I underwent within. The terrors that had assailed me whe Mrs. Joe had gone near the pantry, or out of the room, were to be equed by the remorse with which my mind dwelt on what my hands had done. Under the weight of my wicked secret, I pondered whether the Church would be powerful enough to shield me from the vengeance of the terrible young man, if I divulged to that establishment. I conceived the idea that the time when the banns were read and when the clergyman said, Ye are to declare it! would be the time for me to rise and propose a private conference in the vestry. I am far from being sure that I might not have astonished our sm congregation by resorting to this extreme measure, but for its being Christmas Day and no Sunday. Mr. Wopsle, the clerk at church, was to dine with us; and Mr. Hubble the wheelwright and Mrs. Hubble; and Uncle Pumblechook (Joe's uncle, but Mrs. Joe appropriated him), who was a well-to-do cornchandler in the nearest town, and drove his own chaise-cart. The dinner hour was half-past one. When Joe and I got , we found the table laid, and Mrs. Joe dressed, and the dinner dressing, and the front door unlocked (it was at any other time) for the company to enter by, and everything most splendid. And still, not a word of the robbery. The time came, without bringing with it any relief to my feelings, and the company came. Mr. Wopsle, united to a Roman nose and a large shining bald forehead, had a deep voice which he was uncomm proud of; indeed it was understood among his acquaintance that if you could give him his head, he would read the clergyman into fits; he himself confessed that if the Church was thrown , meaning to competition, he would not despair of making his mark in it. The Church not being thrown , he was, as I have said, our clerk. But he punished the Amens tremendously; and when he gave out the psalm,—always giving the whole verse,—he looked round the congregation first, as much as to say, You have heard my overhead; oblige me with your opinion of this style! I ed the door to the company,—making believe that it was a habit of ours to that door,—and I ed it first to Mr. Wopsle, next to Mr. and Mrs. Hubble, and last of to Uncle Pumblechook. N.B. I was not owed to him uncle, under the severest penalties. Mrs. Joe, said Uncle Pumblechook, a large hard-breathing middle-aged slow man, with a mouth like a fish, dull staring eyes, and sandy hair standing upright on his head, so that he looked as if he had just been but choked, and had that moment come to, I have brought you as the compliments of the season—I have brought you, Mum, a bottle of sherry wine—and I have brought you, Mum, a bottle of port wine. Every Christmas Day he presented himself, as a profound novelty, with exactly the same words, and carrying the two bottles like dumb-bells. Every Christmas Day, Mrs. Joe replied, as she replied, O, Un—cle Pum-ble—chook! This is kind! Every Christmas Day, he retorted, as he retorted, It's no more than your merits. And are you bobbish, and how's Sixpennorth of halfpence? meaning me. We dined on these occasions in the kitchen, and adjourned, for the nuts and oranges and apples to the parlour; which was a change very like Joe's change from his working-clothes to his Sunday dress. My sister was uncomm lively on the present occasion, and indeed was genery more gracious in the society of Mrs. Hubble than in other company. I remember Mrs. Hubble as a little curly sharp-edged person in sky-blue, who held a conventiony juvenile position, because she had married Mr. Hubble,—I don't k at what remote period,—when she was much younger than he. I remember Mr Hubble as a tough, high-shouldered, stooping old man, of a sawdusty fragrance, with his legs extraordinarily wide apart: so that in my short days I always saw some miles of country between them when I met him coming up the lane. Among this good company I should have felt myself, even if I hadn't robbed the pantry, in a false position. Not because I was squeezed in at an acute angle of the tablecloth, with the table in my chest, and the Pumblechookian elbow in my eye, nor because I was not owed to speak (I didn't want to speak), nor because I was regaled with the scaly tips of the drumsticks of the fowls, and with those obscure corners of pork of which the pig, when living, had had the least reason to be vain. No; I should not have minded that, if they would have left me alone. But they wouldn't me alone. They seemed to think the lost, if they failed to point the conversation at me, every and then, and stick the point into me. I might have been an unfortunate little bull in a Spanish arena, I got so smartingly touched up by these moral goads. It began the moment we sat down to dinner. Mr. Wopsle said grace with theatrical declamation,—as it appears to me, something like a religious cross of the Ghost in Hamlet with Richard the Third,—and ended with the very proper aspiration that we might be truly grateful. Upon which my sister fixed me with her eye, and said, in a low reproachful voice, Do you hear that? Be grateful. Especiy, said Mr. Pumblechook, be grateful, boy, to them which brought you up by hand. Mrs. Hubble shook her head, and contemplating me with a mournful presentiment that I should come to no good, asked, Why is it that the young are grateful? This moral mystery seemed too much for the company until Mr. Hubble tersely solved it by saying, Natery wicious. Everybody then murmured True! and looked at me in a particularly unpleasant and personal manner. Joe's station and influence were something feebler (if possible) when t was company than when t was none. But he always aided and comforted me when he could, in some way of his own, and he always did so at dinner-time by giving me gravy, if t were any. T being plenty of gravy to-day, Joe spooned into my plate, at this point, about half a pint. A little later on in the dinner, Mr. Wopsle reviewed the sermon with some severity, and intimated—in the usual hypothetical case of the Church being thrown —what kind of sermon he would have given them. After favouring them with some heads of that discourse, he remarked that he considered the subject of the day's homily, ill chosen; which was the less excusable, he added, when t were so many subjects going about. True again, said Uncle Pumblechook. You've hit it, sir! Plenty of subjects going about, for them that k how to put salt upon their tails. That's what's wanted. A man needn't go far to find a subject, if he's ready with his salt-box. Mr. Pumblechook added, after a short interval of reflection, Look at Pork alone. T's a subject! If you want a subject, look at Pork! True, sir. Many a moral for the young, returned Mr. Wopsle,—and I k he was going to lug me in, before he said it; might be deduced from that text. (You listen to this, said my sister to me, in a severe parenthesis.) Joe gave me some more gravy. Swine, pursued Mr. Wopsle, in his deepest voice, and pointing his fork at my blushes, as if he were mentioning my Christian ,—swine were the companions of the prodigal. The gluttony of Swine is put before us, as an example to the young. (I thought this pretty well in him who had been praising up the pork for being so plump and juicy.) What is detestable in a pig is more detestable in a boy. Or girl, suggested Mr. Hubble. Of course, or girl, Mr. Hubble, assented Mr. Wopsle, rather irritably, but t is no girl present. Besides, said Mr. Pumblechook, turning sharp on me, think what you've got to be grateful for. If you'd been born a Squeaker— He was, if ever a child was, said my sister, most emphatiy. Joe gave me some more gravy. Well, but I mean a four-footed Squeaker, said Mr. Pumblechook. If you had been born such, would you have been ? Not you— Unless in that , said Mr. Wopsle, nodding towards the dish. But I don't mean in that , sir, returned Mr. Pumblechook, who had an objection to being interrupted; I mean, enjoying himself with his elders and betters, and improving himself with their conversation, and rolling in the lap of . Would he have been doing that? No, he wouldn't. And what would have been your destination? turning on me again. You would have been disposed of for so many shillings according to the market of the article, and Dunstable the butcher would have come up to you as you lay in your straw, and he would have whipped you under his left arm, and with his right he would have tucked up his frock to a penknife from out of his waistcoat-pocket, and he would have shed your blood and had your . No bringing up by hand then. Not a bit of it! Joe ered me more gravy, which I was afraid to take. He was a world of trouble to you, ma'am, said Mrs. Hubble, commiserating my sister. Trouble? echoed my sister; trouble? and then entered on a fearful catalogue of the illnesses I had been guilty of, and the acts of sleeplessness I had committed, and the high places I had tumbled from, and the low places I had tumbled into, and the injuries I had done myself, and the times she had wished me in my grave, and I had contumaciously refused to go t. I think the Romans must have aggravated one another very much, with their noses. Perhaps, they became the restless people they were, in consequence. Anyhow, Mr. Wopsle's Roman nose so aggravated me, during the recital of my misdemeanours, that I should have liked to pull it until he howled. But, I had endured up to this time was nothing in comparison with the awful feelings that took possession of me when the pause was broken which ensued upon my sister's recital, and in which pause everybody had looked at me (as I felt painfully conscious) with indignation and abhorrence. Yet, said Mr. Pumblechook, leading the company gently back to the theme from which they had strayed, Pork—regarded as biled—is rich, too; ain't it? Have a little brandy, uncle, said my sister. O Heavens, it had come at last! He would find it was weak, he would say it was weak, and I was lost! I held tight to the leg of the table under the cloth, with both hands, and awaited my fate. My sister went for the stone bottle, came back with the stone bottle, and poured his brandy out: no one else taking any. The wretched man trifled with his glass,—took it up, looked at it through the light, put it down,—prolonged my misery. this time Mrs. Joe and Joe were briskly clearing the table for the pie and pudding. I couldn't keep my eyes him. Always holding tight by the leg of the table with my hands and feet, I saw the miserable creature finger his glass playfully, take it up, smile, throw his head back, and drink the brandy . ly afterwards, the company were seized with unspeakable consternation, owing to his springing to his feet, turning round several times in an apping spasmodic whooping-cough dance, and rushing out at the door; he then became visible through the window, violently plunging and expectorating, making the most hideous faces, and apparently out of his mind. I held on tight, while Mrs. Joe and Joe ran to him. I didn't k how I had done it, but I had no doubt I had murdered him somehow. In my dreadful situation, it was a relief when he was brought back, and surveying the company round as if they had disagreed with him, sank down into his chair with the one significant gasp, Tar! I had filled up the bottle from the tar-water jug. I k he would be worse by and by. I moved the table, like a of the present day, by the vigor of my unseen hold upon it. Tar! cried my sister, in amazement. Why, how ever could Tar come t? But, Uncle Pumblechook, who was omnipotent in that kitchen, wouldn't hear the word, wouldn't hear of the subject, imperiously waved it away with his hand, and asked for hot gin and water. My sister, who had begun to be alarmingly meditative, had to employ herself actively in ting the gin, the hot water, the sugar, and the lemon-peel, and mixing them. For the time being at least, I was saved. I still held on to the leg of the table, but clutched it with the fervor of gratitude. By degrees, I became calm enough to release my grasp and partake of pudding. Mr. Pumblechook partook of pudding. partook of pudding. The course terminated, and Mr. Pumblechook had begun to beam under the genial influence of gin and water. I began to think I should over the day, when my sister said to Joe, Clean plates,—cold. I clutched the leg of the table again , and pressed it to my bosom as if it had been the companion of my youth and of my soul. I foresaw what was coming, and I felt that this time I rey was gone. You must taste, said my sister, addressing the guests with her best grace—you must taste, to finish with, such a delightful and delicious present of Uncle Pumblechook's! Must they! Let them not hope to taste it! You must k, said my sister, rising, it's a pie; a savory pork pie. The company murmured their compliments. Uncle Pumblechook, sensible of having deserved well of his fellow-creatures, said,—quite vivaciously, things considered,—Well, Mrs. Joe, we'll do our best endeavours; let us have a cut at this same pie. My sister went out to it. I heard her steps proceed to the pantry. I saw Mr. Pumblechook balance his knife. I saw reawakening appetite in the Roman nostrils of Mr. Wopsle. I heard Mr. Hubble remark that a bit of savory pork pie would lay atop of anything you could mention, and do no harm, and I heard Joe say, You sh have some, Pip. I have been absolutely certain whether I uttered a shrill yell of terror, merely in spirit, or in the bodily hearing of the company. I felt that I could bear no more, and that I must run away. I released the leg of the table, and ran for my . But I ran no farther than the house door, for t I ran head-foremost into a party of soldiers with their muskets, one of whom held out a pair of handcuffs to me, saying, you are, look sharp, come on! |
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