You know exactly what it feels like when you try not to get caught…
Your palms feel hot and slimy. Your heartbeat gets a little louder in your head. You think about coming clean, but that feels like an even worse idea, so you press on.
I know those feelings well – and even though I miss my brothers and sisters at CIA, I do NOT miss that terrible feeling of living a lie.
When spies leave service, we feel a strange mix of emotions. Relief is there, and so is pride… There is also sadness and worry.
But there is no mix of feelings that tops the way it feels to be honest, come clean, and give back.
I recently sat with another former enemy spy – a KGB Deep Cover illegal named Jack Barsky.
The lies I lived lasted months or years.
But Jack had to live a lie for decades as he tried to penetrate senior levels of the United States government.
Jack was later caught by the FBI and granted the right to stay in the US (out of jail) in exchange for helping US law enforcement capture foreign intelligence officers like him.
Jack and I recently sat together to talk about Russia and the tools they are using right now to attack US citizens and the democracy we hold so dear.
We talked about the tactics Russia uses to create conflict and chaos inside the United States. We discussed their propaganda, social media, and fake news strategies.
And we talked about exactly how you can stop Russia in their tracks and keep them away from your family.
For Jack and I, the days of sweaty palms and migraines are over.
But our fight for freedom rages on every day, right beside you.
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